It’s Time To Play….

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*cue music*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences, where Mare from Searching For My After aims to achieve 70,000 steps or more in a week. If she doesn’t, she must complete a consequence chosen by the audience!

Mare: Actually, that’s about to change.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: How so?

Mare: Since starting Health or Consequences a few months ago, I’ve heard from several readers who bought an activity monitor to find out just how many steps they were getting in a day. Many went from curious to surprised when they discovered they weren’t achieving the daily minimum of 10,000 steps either. So while I know many of you stay up nights wondering if I’ll hit the 70,000 step target, and wait with bated breath as the Fitbit Wheel of Truth beee-booops until it reveals my fate for the week, it dawned on me that I shouldn’t be the only one marching around town getting fit and tooting my own horn…. We should ALL be tooting until we stink up the city with health and vitality!

No more sitting on the sidelines – it’s time to make this game interactive!

For those of you who have an activity monitor, I invite you to play along, and for those who don’t have a device, you can still play! The show will be played in one of the following three formats, which YOU get to choose:

  • Step Off
  • Target Practice
  • Hang Ten

Step Off

If you think you can out-step me, throw down your sneakers and challenge me to a STEP OFF! Once the challenge has been called, we must mutually agree to the following:

  • The week the challenge will take place.
  • The consequence, which will be communicated on the blog the week before our challenge starts.
  • Exchange our progress reports at the end of the week, and post them on the blog following the challenge.
  • The high stepper gets to do the Walk of Fame.
  • The low stepper must complete the consequence within 4 weeks of the challenge, document it (i.e. video or photograph) and agree to have it posted on the blog.

Target Practice

YOU set my step target for the week and I aim to achieve it. (I don’t want to be a sitting duck Mare, so I’ll do my best to keep moving!) Keep in mind that the minimum is 10,000 steps a day. The maximum should be a stretch, but reasonable, because this lady still has to go to work and get her beauty sleep at night.

If I don’t hit the target, I will donate $10 to the Heart & Stroke Foundation. However, if I do, the challenger must donate $10 to the charity of their choice. It’s a win-win-win situation!

Hang Ten

If I don’t receive a challenge for the week, I will continue to play the game as it currently stands.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: How exciting! How do people challenge you?

Mare: I can be challenged in person, via email, or through the blog. So slip on your favourite runners, Birkenstocks, or tap shoes and let the games begin!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Before we move over to the new format, let’s see how you did last week.

*The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeee-boooooooooo*

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Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Wow! That’s your all-time record Mare.

Mare: It was an exceptionally busy week and I don’t expect to see numbers like that all the time.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Speaking of time, that’s all we have for this week. This is Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to choose HEALTH, or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES.

*cue music*

It’s Time To Play…

image

*cue music*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences where Mare from Searching For My After aims to achieve 70,000 steps or more in a week. If she doesn’t, she must complete a consequence chosen by the audience!

Mare: Hello.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Let’s see how you did last week.

*The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeee-boooooooooo*

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Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: 78,239! This is getting too easy for you.

Mare: I wouldn’t say ‘easy’, but I am being more mindful of getting more activity in my day. You do have a point though. I think we need to spice this game up a bit.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Speaking of spice…

***Game Show Announcer Mare comes out with a flaming skillet***

Game Show Announcer Mare: I hope you like your slugs well done!

Mare: Sorry to disappoint you, but I did my consequence in time. Roll the clip, Game Show Camera Mare!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Good on you, but we were hoping you’d miss your deadline.

Mare: You sadistic figments of my split personalities…. as I was saying, I plan on spicing the game up sans slugs.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: How so?

Mare: Stay tuned, and all will be revealed during next week’s episode.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: How exciting! Until then, I’m Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to choose HEALTH, or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES.

*cue music*

 

 

It’s Time To Play…

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*cue music*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences where Mare from Searching For My After aims to achieve the weekly 70,000 recommended steps for optimal health. Should she reach, or surpass this goal, she will do the Walk of Fame! However, if she falls short of the target, she will do the Walk of Shame, and will have to complete a consequence chosen by the audience!

Mare: Hello.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Let’s see how you did last week.

*The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeeeee-booooooooooo*

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Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: 75,108! Outstanding! You’re on a roll! Tell her what she wins Game Show Announcer Mare!

Game Show Announcer Mare: Mare, during your Walk of Fame you’ll get to toot your own horn and continue to improve your health!

Mare: Do I get a full ‘toot’ this week, or are you going to cut me off again?

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: We’re back to our regular timeslot, so toot away!

Mare: Toot! Toot!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Mare, we’d like to remind you that you have a consequence due next week.

Mare: I haven’t forgotten.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: We look forward to it! However, if it isn’t completed by next Thursday, Game Show Announcer Mare has been coming up with creative ways to serve your SLUG penalty.

Game Show Announcer Mare: Slugs are the fruit of the swamp. You can barbecue them, boil them, broil them, bake them, sauté them –

Mare: Ewww!

Game Show Announcer Mare: There’s slug-kabobs, slug creole, slug gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried.

Mare: This sounds familiar….

Game Show Announcer Mare: There’s pineapple slug, lemon slug, coconut slug, pepper slug, slug soup, slug stew, slug salad, slug and potatoes, slug burger, slug sandwich.

Mare: Anything else, Bubba?

Game Show Announcer Mare: That’s about it.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: And that’s all the time we have. I’m Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to choose HEALTH, or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES… like eating a slug.

*cue music*

 

It’s Time To Play…

image

*cue music*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences where Mare from Searching For My After aims to achieve 70,000 steps or more in a week. If she doesn’t, she must complete a consequence chosen by the audience!

Mare: Where’s Game Show Announcer Mare?

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: We’re cutting the game short this week because some blabbing blogger took up all OUR airtime yesterday.

Mare: Oops, my bad. But in my defence, it was the first of the month and that’s when I introduce my new plan for 12 in 12. That takes a lot of time.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Time we no longer have for today’s show. So, let’s spin this sucker and see if you do the Walk of Fame and get to toot your own horn, or the Walk of Shame and do a consequence.

*The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeeeee-booooooooooo*

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Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: 76,921! Another great week! Toot it lady!

Mare: Toot! To…

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: That’s enough. You can yack all you want next week when we return to our regular timeslot. This is Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to choose HEALTH – even if you’re short on time – or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES all the time!

*cue music*

It’s Time To Play….

image

*cue music*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences where our contestant aims to achieve the weekly 70,000 recommended steps for optimal health. Should she reach, or surpass this goal, she will do the Walk of Fame! However, should she fall short of the target, she will do the Walk of Shame, and will have to complete a consequence chosen by the audience! Who do we have with us today, Game Show Announcer Mare?

Game Show Announcer Mare: We have Mare, from Searching For My After!

Mare: Hello.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: You look familiar.

Mare: I was here last week.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Are we short of contestants?

Game Show Announcer Mare: Mare is our only contestant.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Then why don’t we call the show, Just Mare? or 24/7 Mare? or…

Game Show Announcer Mare: Mare signs our paycheque, so let’s get on with the show, shall we?

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: All-righty then… let’s see what the all-seeing, all-knowing, step-sensing, Fitbit report reveals….

* The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeeeee-booooooooooooo*

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Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: 77,564 steps! Outstanding! What kept you motivated this week?

Mare: It’s been a long, cold winter here in Canada, and we’ve been cooped up for months on end, so when temperatures hit a balmy +1o C this week, I went out for long walks.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: And how are you feeling?

Mare: Fantastic! The more I move, the better I feel!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: That’s all the time we have folks. Until next week, I’m Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to choose HEALTH, or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES!

*cue music*

Game Show Announcer Mare: Please continue to submit your creative consequences should Mare not complete the weekly 70,000 steps!

 

It’s Time To Play…

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*cue music*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences where our contestant aims to achieve the weekly 70,000 recommended steps for optimal health. Should she reach, or surpass this goal, she will do the Walk of Fame!

Audience: * loud applause*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: However, if she does not, she will do the Walk of Shame, and will have to complete a consequence chosen by the audience!

Audience: Muuaaahahaaa!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Who do we have with us today, Game Show Announcer Mare?

Game Show Announcer Mare: We have Mare, from Searching For My After!

Mare: Hello.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: How do you think you did last week, Mare?

Mare: Pretty good.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Okay, let’s check to see what the all-seeing, all-knowing, step-sensing, Fitbit report reveals….

*A hush falls over the studio audience. The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeeeee-booooooooooooo*

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Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: 75,082!

*Mare jumps up and down registering another 6 steps on her Fitbit*

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: That’s phenomenal! You get to do the Walk of Fame! Tell her what she wins Game Show Announcer Mare!

Game Show Announcer Mare: Mare, during your Walk of Fame you’ll get to toot your own horn…

Mare: Toot! Toot!

Game Show Announcer Mare: …and continue to improve your health!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Congratulations Mare, that’s a terrific number! What changed, considering you did about half of that the week before?

Mare: I know the right answer should be: I’m focusing on making fitness a priority in order to avoid the consequence of ill-health. But truth be told, I’m scared of the consequences the audience and my blog followers have been sending in should I not achieve my goal.

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: They can’t be as bad as illness!

Mare: Have you met my sister, Gerti? She’s been staying up day and night coming up with twisted tasks to put in the Bucket o’ Shame!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Come now, I’ve met Gerti, and she’s lovely. It’s not like she would do something maniacal like let’s say…. huddle quietly in her room reading your diary to a group of her friends, and when you catch her in the act, you chase her around the house to get your diary back, but she’s too fast and you can’t catch up to her, so you fling your shoe at her head, but it hits the window instead, shattering it into a million pieces, and then you get punished by your parents in front of those said friends?

Mare: Oh, she would. And, she did!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Surely, it can’t get worse than that, can it?

Mare: I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out! If I literally don’t ‘step it up’, she might have me shave my head, or have me wear a suit made of bees!

Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Yikes! That’s all the time we have folks. Until next week, I’m Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to not only get your pets spayed or neutered, but to choose HEALTH, or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES!

*cue music*

Game Show Announcer Mare: Promotional considerations for this show provided by… the amazing Nathan (http://nathancyounger.com/) for another outstanding cartoon!