Chaos Stew

Today is April 1st and that means many things in my world:

  1. First and foremost, it’s my daughter’s birthday… happy birthday angel face!
  2. It’s the 31st anniversary of my 14 hour labour of bringing said angel face into the world,
  3. It’s April Fool’s Day and I get to get my prank on,
  4. It’s weigh-in day, and
  5. I update the blog with my monthly post.

Typically, my posts are ready a day or two before uploading, but today I’m winging it. (Geesh, how did I do it when I posted twice a week?!). I could say that I don’t know how time slipped through my fingers, but that would be a lie. I, in typical Mare fashion, bit off more than I could chew and am now bathing in a bubbling vat of chaos stew. I may have mastered weighing and measuring my food (yay!), but I still have a way to go in the other areas of my life (boo!).

When I’m not mindful, I binge on life as if it’s an all-you-can-experience buffet, gulping and cramming my schedule with fists full of events, tasks, and commitments. Why stop at one helping of socializing, when you can have seven?! Why volunteer for one cause when there are so many worthy causes? Why clean out one closet when you have a two-story townhouse with many closets, a basement, a storage room, AND a garage you can pull EVERYTHING out of because you got in the mood to do spring cleaning the moment you heard the first Robin chirp, and as a result, you feel like you’re in an episode of Hoarder’s, buried up to your eyeballs with every possession you own, and then have to sacrifice two valuable vacation days in order to Jenga everything back into place???!!!!  Whew!

Why do we do this to ourselves? Okay, why do I do this to myself? As an addict, I operate under the ‘I want EVERYTHING, ALL the time’ model. I forget that life is about choices. ALL is a choice… so is yes, no, pause, stop, go… and every choice has a consequence.

When I was in the food and binged on anything and everything before me, the consequence was poor health and low self-esteem, resulting in carrying 259+ lbs. on a 5’3.5” frame. The same applies when I fill my schedule with more activities than hours in the day, the important things (like writing this blog) get watered down, and I never truly savour an experience.

Some choices have lasting repercussions, like getting a bad tattoo, Brexit, or voting for Trump. However, we addicts are blessed – whatever we chose yesterday does not have to be what we choose today!

To find out how much weight I lost last month, click here.