If These Walls Could Talk

The state-of-the art office building where I work was constructed a dozen years ago right next to our old building, which was built in the 1960s. The new space is stunning, it’s light and airy, and everything we need is under one roof.  We have a cafeteria, a fitness centre, and an auditorium.  Unfortunately, our industry went through a difficult period several years ago, forcing us to downsize by more than 50%. As a result, we could no longer afford to own the building, so we sold it and became tenants in our own home.

A few months ago, the new owners decided to demolish part of the new building, as well as the old office, in order to sell the land. It’s heartbreaking to see this beautiful structure crumble around us.  Day after day, bulldozers, excavators, and other rumbling machines have been tearing it down brick by brick. I can’t help but think of all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into erecting it, and how it’s taking a fraction of the time to demolish it.

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So, what do bricks and mortar have to do with weight loss? According to Marianne Williamson, author of A Course In Weight Loss, each and every one of us suffering with an addiction or compulsion, has subconsciously built a wall around us separating us from the world. The metaphorical bricks used are unprocessed thoughts and feelings, which have been embedded in our flesh.

Marianne claims that each brick has a word etched on it…. Shame. Anger. Fear. Unforgiveness. Judgement… you get the gist.  We’ve barricaded ourselves behind our wall instead of dealing with what these words represent in our life.

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In her first lesson, entitled, Tearing Down The Wall she asks us to write down what each word holds true for us in order to dismantle the barrier.

Shame and Unforgiveness

This demolition is necessary if we want to free ourselves from our prison. It might be overwhelming at times, but it’s imperative for our healing.

I don’t know much about deconstruction, but just by observing what’s happening at the office, I’ve noticed that there’s special equipment for each step of the process. Like this thingamabob I’ve dubbed the ‘Rock Biter’ which chews up the enormous concrete blocks into itty-bitty rocks, making it easier to remove.

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Maybe that’s what we need to do… bring in special equipment, like a trusted friend, or therapist to help us chip away at our bricks until they’re nothing more than granules.

I’ve just started this lesson and I would be lying if I said it was easy. I would also be lying if I said it wasn’t worth it. The first brick I picked up was ‘unforgiveness’… boy, was it heavy! I’m still chipping away at it, but the smaller it gets, the lighter I get – and I’m not just talking weight wise. My heart feels like it’s full of helium as I let go of past hurts. The next one I tackle will be ‘shame’ – it’ll be a doosey, but I trust it will only get easier with each brick that comes down.

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