Battle Of The Bulge

Three more! Two more! One more! No more! Arrrg! Everything hurts… my arms, my legs, my eyelashes. I’ve been exercising for a week straight now and my body hates me. I hate me! Why did I start this crummy experiment anyway? What was so wrong with my couch potato life? Oh yeah, my iffy health and general disgust of my Jabba the Hutt physique.

Exercise Equipment Freakout!
Even my gym equipment hates working out!

I wish I was one of those people who likes to exercise, but I’m not. I drag myself to the gym EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Or, in my current situation, down a flight of stairs to the basement where I have all the equipment I need to get in shape. The puzzling part is I never regret working out once I’m done, so why do I go through the same inner battle day after day? Why can’t I embrace the benefits of exercise, and “JUST DO IT”, instead of bracing myself to JUST ENDURE IT?

Is it simply an aversion to exertion? I don’t think it’s that simple…. I think there’s a disconnect in my brain, which affects everything from the neck down. Perhaps if I get a hit of those fabled endorphins athletes rave about, maybe I’d jump on the workout bandwagon. But I haven’t, so they are as real to me as a tap-dancing unicorn.

For those of you who are addicted to exercise, I hate you… err, I mean, I envy you! I’m fascinated to know what makes you tick. I’ve seen us in action… okay, okay, YOU in action, and ME in inaction. You can’t live a day without exercise, and I dread every day that I do. I bet if I said, “What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say marathon?” you’d think running, and I’d think Netflix.

Why do I view exercise as a negative when there are so many positives? Perhaps I look at it as a chore and resent having to do it. Or, I’ve created an negative association around it as I’ve always coupled it with dieting, and given that I’ve failed in this area numerous times, exercise is half of a discouraging duo. Maybe I hate the fact that it eats up my valuable time.

I’ve been down this road many, many times! I go through the motions to commit to fitness…. I sign up at gyms, I have a library full of heart-pumping workout videos from Richard Simmons Sweatin’ To The Oldies, to Beachbody Insanity. I have equipment at home, and a drawer full of enough spandex workout clothes to outfit every Justice League superhero. I even had amazing personal trainers come alongside to coach me. Before there was a wonderful Nikki helping me with a fitness regime during 12 in 12, there was an equally wonderful Laura who attempted to get my buns of veal in shape. And yet, nothing has stuck except for my defeatist mindset.

Love you Laura!
Love you oodles Laura!

This month I plan to interview a few of my fitness-fanatic-friends to find out what the missing link is, and when I find it, I’ll bottle it up and sell it for 3 easy payments of $19.95… Momma’s gotta fund her spandex habit somehow!

*Flashback 30 years* Why don’t they make this equipment anymore? You stand there and it does all the work for you!

For my Week 27 food journal, click here.

3 thoughts on “Battle Of The Bulge

  1. Great post – as always. Maybe it is just finding something physical you enjoy that you don’t view as exercise. Either way – you are doing a fantastic job!!!


  2. I recently heard a very wise person say “If you start telling yourself you CAN have the cookie you just CHOOSE not to have it, you suddenly shift your mindset” it actually works when I remember to do it. You got this!


  3. I’m still laughing at the photo of your exercise equipment! Keep up the great work!! If it was too easy, where’s the challenge in that? 🙂


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