Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Hello, and welcome to Health or Consequences where our contestant aims to achieve the weekly 70,000 recommended steps for optimal health. Should she reach, or surpass this goal, she will do the Walk of Fame!
Audience: * loud applause*
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: However, if she does not, she will do the Walk of Shame, and will have to complete a consequence chosen by the audience!
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Who do we have with us today, Game Show Announcer Mare?
Game Show Announcer Mare: We have Mare, from Searching For My After!
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: How do you think you did last week, Mare?
Mare: Pretty good.
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Okay, let’s check to see what the all-seeing, all-knowing, step-sensing, Fitbit report reveals….
*A hush falls over the studio audience. The Fitbit wheel of truth spins… beep-boo-beep-boo-beeeeee-booooooooooooo*
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: 75,082!
*Mare jumps up and down registering another 6 steps on her Fitbit*
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: That’s phenomenal! You get to do the Walk of Fame! Tell her what she wins Game Show Announcer Mare!
Game Show Announcer Mare: Mare, during your Walk of Fame you’ll get to toot your own horn…
Mare: Toot! Toot!
Game Show Announcer Mare: …and continue to improve your health!
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Congratulations Mare, that’s a terrific number! What changed, considering you did about half of that the week before?
Mare: I know the right answer should be: I’m focusing on making fitness a priority in order to avoid the consequence of ill-health. But truth be told, I’m scared of the consequences the audience and my blog followers have been sending in should I not achieve my goal.
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: They can’t be as bad as illness!
Mare: Have you met my sister, Gerti? She’s been staying up day and night coming up with twisted tasks to put in the Bucket o’ Shame!
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Come now, I’ve met Gerti, and she’s lovely. It’s not like she would do something maniacal like let’s say…. huddle quietly in her room reading your diary to a group of her friends, and when you catch her in the act, you chase her around the house to get your diary back, but she’s too fast and you can’t catch up to her, so you fling your shoe at her head, but it hits the window instead, shattering it into a million pieces, and then you get punished by your parents in front of those said friends?
Mare: Oh, she would. And, she did!
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Surely, it can’t get worse than that, can it?
Mare: I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out! If I literally don’t ‘step it up’, she might have me shave my head, or have me wear a suit made of bees!
Cheeky Game Show Host Mare: Yikes! That’s all the time we have folks. Until next week, I’m Cheeky Game Show Host Mare, reminding you to not only get your pets spayed or neutered, but to choose HEALTH, or else you’ll have to live with the CONSEQUENCES!
Game Show Announcer Mare: Promotional considerations for this show provided by… the amazing Nathan (http://nathancyounger.com/) for another outstanding cartoon!