Have you ever heard a skinny girl say, “I forgot to eat.”? Have you wanted to punch her in her skinny face when she said it? Who the heck forgets to eat?! Food is the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning, and last thing I think about before I fall asleep – some people count sheep, I count Oreos!
The devil must have been bundled up in a snowsuit and leg warmers today because guess what happened to me? I FORGOT TO EAT! This only happened once before in 2007. It was a Tuesday on a crisp October day. I remember it well – it was monumental, and I thought it would be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. But twice in my prime plump years… who’da thunk it?! That’s it, I’m going to buy a lottery ticket tonight ‘cuz Momma’s feeling lucky!
So here’s the low-down of my overlooked chow-down….
I’ve been über busy over the last few months with numerous projects at work that I rarely have time to step away from my cubicle – sadly, my food journals can attest to all the times I’ve eaten at my desk lately. It’s been so hectic that I refrain from drinking anything after my morning coffee because I can’t afford to take a pee break. Well, it was around 3:30 PM when I started to feel a little light-headed. I couldn’t figure it out, and then I spotted it in the corner of my eye… my unopened lunch bag. Could it be? Did I really forget to eat?
Holy cream-filled cannoli, I did forget to eat! I did!!!!! With tears in my eyes I called my friend Karen on the 5th floor.
“Karen! Karen! I, I…” I gasped between sobs.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay? Do you want me to come down?” she asked all panicked.
“No. It’s just… I needed to tell somebody… *sniff* I… I just pulled a skinny girl.”
Then silence – a holy silence. It was like I achieved enlightenment, and in a way, I did. I savoured the realization that for a few brief hours, the thought of food did not consume me. I marveled that my inner calorie-seeking missile malfunctioned. Is this what ‘normal’ feels like?
I slowly reached for my lunch bag and held it gently as though it contained sticks of dynamite instead of my sandwich. Ever so carefully, I un-zzzzzzzzzzzipped the bag and WHACK! The skinny girl spell was broken the moment I caught a whiff of the deli meat. Food was once again first and foremost on my mind as I devoured the sandwich like a piranha.
It was so surreal, but it did happen – I have a witness – YES, KAREN IS REAL! And she too had a skinny girl moment of her own a few years ago, and guess who she called? Me!
Events like these are epic for curvy girls like us. You’ve got to broadcast it otherwise nobody will believe you. It’s just like that tree that fell in the forest, if nobody’s around to hear me brag about it, it never really happened, so TIMBER!!!!